Categories
Fail Headlines

Wait, what?

I saw this headline this morning. I didn’t realise necrophilia had become accepted by the mainstream.

Categories
Fail Food

Honest promotion

Whilst shopping in Tesco today, I saw some chocolate that was, for once, honestly titled.

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Categories
Fail

The world's best lens cap

Browsing Amazon today, looking at some camera gear, I came across what was being described as an open-box discount on a Sony lens cap.

Now, I’m a Canon guy, and always have been, so I don’t know all that much about Sony’s cameras, how good they are, whether they’re good value for money et cetera.

However, as far as I can tell this is just a lens cap, a relatively simple piece of plastic with a release mechanism to keep it attached to the lens.

So, to me it seems a little expensive. But hey, like it said, I don’t know about Sony cameras.

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Categories
Fail London

Idiot

Today some bright spark decided it would be a good idea to drive a lorry into the Strand Underpass.

“Into” being the operative word.

You can probably guess the end result of this little exercise. It looked a whole lot like this:

Categories
Fail Technology Travel

Free WiFi

Dear hotels:

If you are going to offer free WiFi to your guests, it does seem like quite a shallow offering if the speed of said WiFi is about four times slower than the speed of the local 3G network (the 3G is the top result):

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Categories
Apple Fail Technology

Facial Recognition

The software I use for dealing with my photography over at Creative Splurges is a nifty piece of software called Aperture. I chose it over Photoshop because it has an iPhoto-like library element to it meaning I can easily keep my photos in one place where I can find them easily, whilst still offering fantastic RAW processing and image adjustments (and I chose it over Lightroom because 1. Aperture came first, and 2. Aperture integrates with my old iPhoto library). But this isn’t really of interest here, this is talk for ‘Splurges.

One of the amazing features of the latest version of Aperture is facial recognition technology. It will scan your photo library and pick out all of the faces, and tell them apart. All you have to do is put a name to the faces, and then you can easily see every photo with that person in it. It does have a learning curve, so it will ask you “is this Steve?” or “is this Susan?” as it learns to differentiate between people.

Sometimes, however, the technology does get a bit confused. When I first tried it out in iPhoto, it presented us with an image that contained a screwdriver and said, “Who’s this?”. It also does tend to pick out faces such as ones in painting and on statues.

It also, from time to time, can pick out faces in other places:

Of course, that one is almost to be expected.

When you are viewing images which contain a particular person, Aperture will also present you with faces that it thinks are that person. Sometimes it’s flattering, sometimes it compares girls to old men, and sometimes it’s downright confusing – take, for instance, this selection of faces that it thinks are me:

The- er, wait, what?

Categories
Fail

In related news…

It has just been reported that Amy Winehouse has been found dead in her home in London. I apologise if that’s news to you because that’s not the point of this post.

I learnt of the story via the BBC News website. Unfortunately the automated system that the Beeb must use to serve up related stories hasn’t made the best choice in this instance.

I would have thought that was a given?

(Yes, I know that was an old story it has served up – but even so).

Categories
Fail

Filters

I’m quite partial to shopping on Amazon. Not only because they have pretty good prices and really quick delivery, but because of the nifty corrections they’ve built up between products by monitoring people purchasing habits for more than a decade. It’s quite common to see a ‘people also often buy this’ or ‘people sometimes buy this instead’ link on a product page which can sometimes bag you a bargain or find a better product than what you were previously going to buy.

Where I find them hit-and-miss, however, is their product emails they sometimes send out. Not the standard advertising ones, but the ones that claim “as someone who has recently browsed our selection of [one type of product], we thought you’d like to know about our deals in this area, or some related items.”

My problem with those emails is twofold. Firstly, they’ll often do something like send an email headed  “as someone who recently browsed our selection of external hard drives, here’s our best deals in hard drives”, despite the fact that you actually bought a hard drive whilst browsing their store and as such no longer actually need a hard drive. Those emails also sometimes highlight a bargain you missed the first time round but it’s too late now because you’ve already bought something else.

They also sometimes have confusion when suggesting related products. For instance, the email I got this morning, headed “bestselling filters”. As you have recently browsed our selection of filters, it said, you might be interested in these bestsellers. It then went on to display an array of various filters of various prices. Fortunately, they were all compatible – these sort of emails also have the habit of saying ‘you’ve browsed some Canon lenses, have you considered these Nikon alternatives?’ as if my decision on lens manufacturer was decreed by features and price, instead of whether the thing will actually attach to my camera.

Well, I say all of the filters were compatible. There was one that didn’t quite sit amongst all of the others. I have no idea how I’m going to attach this to my camera:

Categories
Fail Life

Coffee

My wife and I have a very well established routine when it comes to who makes the coffee in the morning. Holly makes it during the week, as she is the one who is actually physically capable of getting up on the bad side of 6am – no matter how I try I always seem to only be able to crawl out of bed just after six, although that probably has something to do with the fact that before six it is still technically nighttime.

On Saturdays and Sundays I make the coffee, because I’m a soft touch when it comes to the cat demanding breakfast and almost always give in first.

This information is vital in order to understand the following snippet of conversation I just enjoyed with my wife.

I had just gotten up to fix myself a hot drink (chocolate, if you must know, in order to bribe the mild cold-like symptoms I’m currently enduring), and as if often the way in our house if the kettle’s boiling, Holly asked for a coffee.

“You take two sugars, don’t you?” I said, more seeking a confirmation rather than not actually knowing the answer.

“No,” Holly replied, as if I should know that I was wrong.

“Oh,” I paused, having already spooned two sugars into her mug. “Well, you do on weekends.”

Holly didn’t complain. I finished making the coffee. Maybe I’ll get it right next time.

Categories
Fail Headlines Life Pedantry

Today's poorly worded subheadline

Sometimes when I read a headline, such as this one, I’ll instantly see what’s wrong with it and chuckle.

Other times, however, I’ll read it and think hang on, something doesn’t seem quite right here, and it’ll take me a second before I latch on to what’s wrong about it.

Take this headline, for instance. Take a closer look at the sub-heading.

Yes, I know I’m being pedantic with this one. But when I looked at this I thought, surely if he was swimming he would’t have drowned, would he? A more correct subheadline would be “Boy drowns while failing to swim in a quarry”.

This is the sort of stuff I think about all the time.